Missing

I haven't experienced much missing in my life.  I've always had my family and friends so close by that I could call them in the middle of the night to aid me in who knows what, or to talk, or to just be with me.  I haven't had to say very many goodbyes, not real ones at least.  Goodbye has always been a short term/temporary statement.  More like a "see you soon" sort of thing.  Perhaps having a willing family so close makes my life a bit charmed.  But I think it also makes me fragile.  There is something about "gone" that I don't comprehend.  And it probably all seems silly and a bit dramatic but I think about "gone" a lot.  My big brother and his wife moved to NYC a few months ago.  And I miss them terribly.  But even more, I feel like I missed out while they were here.  Brandon and I caught our camping bug a little too late, we never took that hike we kept talking about, and there were so many conversations that could have been had, had we (I) made the effort.  I realize they aren't really gone, just somewhere else.  

I don't want to miss out on the good that is right in front of me.  I want to be able to say goodbye to people and things in my life, knowing I did everything I could to love and learn from them.  I want to feel ready to say goodbye, so that I'm not left missing.

Dane & Brit- we are working hard and saving lots in hopes to see you soon!  And when we do, we'll take that hike and talk all those talks we should have had a few months back.

-claire



*photos taken in film last november.  missing, but found.

pies & not growing up

amongst several other things my mom does practically perfectly, she is an excellent pie maker.  And when I say excellent, I mean her pies could beat up your pies, like her pies eat your pies for dinner.  ya, scary i know.  That's how good they are.  She says when she grows up she wants to open a pie shop.  I love how she hasn't grown up yet, it makes me feel good about the little progress I've made with adulthood.  Funny how we grow up but don't really.  I still feel like the little girl sitting at the counter watching my mom pinch the crust together that bears the same wheat symbol her mom did and her mom's mom.  I'm still that little girl when I'm home.  I'm learning and watching and wondering how I'll ever make it on my own.  Maybe growing up is realizing you never do.

*this particular pie was in celebration for my brother's birthday in January!  I'd forgotten about this roll of film and only found it a few days ago.  How fun it was to see little snippets of my life I thought worthy enough to snap in film 4 and 6 months ago.

the fourth in film

We had a lovely Fourth.  I ran my race in the morning (more like crawled) and joined my neighbors for the best seats on the block to watch the parade.  Later, we met at the "spot" to eat & watch the fireworks.  and our crowd, which usually consists with cousins, second cousins and probably even third cousins turned out to be just a few.  It's always fun to have our goofy little family together.  And knowing Dane & Brit will be moving to NY at the end of the summer makes these moments even more treasured.  My mom wanted to take a good family photo, since it's rare we find all seven of us together in the same moment, what she got was were the two above :).  Us just being us (particularly Brandon being Brandon).  I think she should blow them up and hang them above the mantle for everyone to see, in all their true and blurry glory.

she is my muse

she is also my sister

she writes here

she uses good grammar and punctuation

(if you are into that kinda stuff)

in a perfect world it would be her words + my images

we'd be that "it" person that everyone hates

instead, we are two faulty halves you can handle liking

the whole world is celebrating mother's birthday!

{that title is for you kin!}

today is the last day of 2010. But even more importantly it's my dear sweet mother's Birthday! I know this saying is cheesy but words cannot describe my love for my mother. especially my words. seems i can never get out my truest feelings in the form of.....words. But here is my pathetic attempt: my mother is the greatest example to me. I'm lucky that my bratty teenage years were extremely short lived (in my opinion non-existant..?) We've always gotten along. I've always looked to her more as a friend than as a parent. But she's been better than any friend could be because she loves me unconditionally and always puts my needs, and anyone's for that matter, before herself.

dearest mum,

i love you to the moon and back and around a couple times too. Thank you for being here for me this last year, 2010 is the hardest yet most blessed year of my life yet. I know there is not a way i could have managed to get through it without you. Thank you for putting up with my "la-la land" moments during my dating days, bridezilla moments during wedding plans, my emotional moments during engaged times, my sick moments right before the wedding and after. Thanks for holding my hair while i threw up too many times to count. and for altering my wedding dress to be THE MOST GORGEOUS DRESS IN THE WORLD! thank you for encouraging me through a stressful semester of school and putting up with my phone calls to complain. Thanks for your uplifting words and inspiration. For you little love texts you send me through out the week. Thank you for your prayers and positive energy during my application to the visual arts program. thank you for little splurge trips to TJmaxx, for spoiling me to a lunch date, for supporting this silly little blog of mine. thank you for your example of a constant desire to learn and grow. I want to be you when i grow up. thank you for believing in me when i've lost hope in myself. You are my rock. I la la love you! Happy birthday mom

xoxoxo

kitty

P.S. i'm putting together a "review of 2010". and yes I'm copying it from every blog i stalk :)

Dear Puma,

I'm sorry that when I come home to visit I avoid you. You try and nuzzle me and I push you away. You meow and yowl and I make you go outside. This must be confusing for you since we used to be really close. You used to sleep at the foot of my bed and you'd wake me up in the morning and you were always such a good listener. I just want you to know It's not you. But it's not me either. It's the husband. You make him get all itchy and then his eyes puff up and he becomes a sad sammy. But Cat, I sure love you and your leopard belly, even though you are the most self-centered living thing on this earth, and you lick your own bum, and you

are kinda rude sometimes. I just don't love you enough to make my man's eyes all scary.

I do hope you understand...

xo

Kitty

(hehe)

{photos of earlier days, when we used to touch.}

Happy Belated Birthday Dad!

{in law}

You are an amazing example to me and I love you very very much! I'm so grateful you were born, so that Brandon could be born, so I could marry him :) Glad we got to spend some time with you yesterday doing the things you love most! And we hope you enjoyed the curry we made you for lunch today!

xoxoxo

your daughter

p.s. I love this photo Elise took of you two on our weddin' day!

Robby and Nikki

A few Saturdays ago, Brandon's cousin Robby married the gorgeous Nikki! We were thrilled to attend their sealing in the Timpanogos Temple. And I was so happy I brought Hank with me to snap some candids of the happenings of the day.

Congrats Robby & Nikki!

We love newlywed friends!!

And we especially love newlywed family!!

{the colors were navy and green. I had no clue that my outfit would match!}

{the best men, groom, and bride all wore sperrys}

{mom and dad {inlaw}}

{the bridesmaid all wore these killer pumps I couldn't get over. They said they killed. Literally.}

{Father of the Groom}

{Mother of the Groom}

{Sissy (Missy) of the Groom}

I loved the Groomsmen's suits!

A very lovely wedding/couple/family/reception/MARRIAGE!

so happy we got to be a tiny part of it :)

*I was not the hired photographer for this wedding, just the crazy cousin with a camera. Had I been there would have been more photos of the bride/groom/group etc. Please note that if I were to photograph YOUR wedding, there would be a whole lot more photos :) e-mail me if you are interested in seeing a full-blown wedding from start to finish! thanks

xox

Kitty