Break on Through
*photo from the other night when we pretended money was only good if spent on spontaneous good eats. This place is in Provo. I'd add a link but it's the kind of place that likely only exists in the physical world (except for this photo). So you'll have to go there in person. West Center Street. Drive towards the lake, look to the right. I recommend what the waitress recommends ;)
I'm not sleeping well, again. And I know exactly why: I. can't. turn. my. brain. off. And I'm also deathly afraid of making my TMJ even worse. I grind my teeth when I sleep. Have for as long as I remember and have worn a mouth-guard/retainer/super sexy flesh-colored thing that gives me the lisp of the century, every night since my adolescence, lest I grind my teeth into powder (I even wore it on our wedding night...yeah). And due to recent really stressful life events, the grinding got way worse. I wake up in the morning and have to think really hard about how to open my mouth because my jaw naturally wants to stay sealed shut. Doc gave me a prescription to help inflammation or something. The major side effect? Insomnia.
So sleep is not in the cards for me. Which I suppose is fine since I've got a million and two things to do before our trip. OUR TRIP! During my tri-daily panic attacks, Brandon will take me by the shoulders and say "But next week, we'll be in Paris!" to which my body immediately goes loose and I play The Doors in my head and let my body dance like the noodle it is. If the Idea of Paris does this to me, I can't wait to see what being there does.
I hope it changes me.
I don't just want to leave my worries behind (I'll have to come home someday). So maybe I can change the way I think about them. Maybe Paris, Berlin, THERE can help me understand HERE and what is worth batting an eye at. Does that make sense? Am I putting too high of expectations on "away"?
I hope not, because I feel like in the bigger scheme of things I have a whole lot more to gain than I have to lose. But I have to lose to gain at all.