Wedding Diary :: Part I

On December 25th 2009, Brando and I exchanged what felt like our millionth "I love you" and picked a date: June 25th 2010. It had to be June, we both insisted (this song convinced me it was the only month worth marrying in, and Brando swears the last week of June is the greenest in Utah). The first two months of "engagement" were a drag (and to most, a complete secret) but as soon as he knelt down on one knee and that heirloom ring was on my finger, time flew by! It was filled with dress shopping, engagement photos, reception planning, our first silly fights as engagees, little sleep, poor grades, and falling even more in love. And then, when everything seemed finalized except a few little odd ends here and there, disaster struck. I became very ill. Most of those two weeks leading to my wedding are a blur. What I do remember are several visits to the ER, doctor after doctor after doctor, prayers from family and friends, fear in my parents faces, confusion in Brando's. I felt defeated. I recall one very real and serious conversation with my parents and Brando: would we postpone? Up until this moment, my mind was still concerned with the details of the wedding: the flowers and invites and dress and such. But when the reality of the wedding not happening was present, the only thing that mattered to me was that Brando and I were sealed in the Salt Lake Temple on June 25th. If there was no luncheon, no photos, no covering up my tired eyes and sickly body, so be it, I would become his wife on June 25th. !!! that bit of fire in me, along with surgery, prayers and blessings from so many people, and miracles from God, I did become his wife AND made it through the entire day with an energy still foreign to me!



What happened in the temple was very sacred, it's not something I can put words to. The feeling is easier to describe: I felt like, up until that moment, I had only been a small part of me, almost as though I were one-dimensional, though I didn't know it. I had been living my life the fullest I could, but by becoming Brando's wife, I became closer to me, closer to God, and closer to whole. I expanded. My heart and mind and spirit grew in an instant, with more room. More room for God, for Brando, for a family we would create together, and somehow, more room for me: the me I needed to become.