Missing

I haven't experienced much missing in my life.  I've always had my family and friends so close by that I could call them in the middle of the night to aid me in who knows what, or to talk, or to just be with me.  I haven't had to say very many goodbyes, not real ones at least.  Goodbye has always been a short term/temporary statement.  More like a "see you soon" sort of thing.  Perhaps having a willing family so close makes my life a bit charmed.  But I think it also makes me fragile.  There is something about "gone" that I don't comprehend.  And it probably all seems silly and a bit dramatic but I think about "gone" a lot.  My big brother and his wife moved to NYC a few months ago.  And I miss them terribly.  But even more, I feel like I missed out while they were here.  Brandon and I caught our camping bug a little too late, we never took that hike we kept talking about, and there were so many conversations that could have been had, had we (I) made the effort.  I realize they aren't really gone, just somewhere else.  

I don't want to miss out on the good that is right in front of me.  I want to be able to say goodbye to people and things in my life, knowing I did everything I could to love and learn from them.  I want to feel ready to say goodbye, so that I'm not left missing.

Dane & Brit- we are working hard and saving lots in hopes to see you soon!  And when we do, we'll take that hike and talk all those talks we should have had a few months back.

-claire



*photos taken in film last november.  missing, but found.