I'm scared of writing papers.
Particularly LONG papers.
like the one I should be writing right now.

I've done all sorts of things to avoid the problem
(the problem being that paper not written)
like stalk blogs
facebook stalk
online window shop

I even got so pathetically desperate that I commented on my own facebook status (twice), just cause things were getting boring around there and I needed something new to look at.

I suppose I'm scared of writing papers because it means my words have to sound good and mean something important. Each word has to be well thought-out and strategically placed.

It's not at all like blogging.
can't start a sentence like this one.
can't end it without punctuation like this one
can't bold it and make it 5 times bigger when you want to emphasize something
or use colors to reflect your mood
{yellow, although my favorite color, is also my anxiety color}
and you can't use that cute little swiggle {} that looks like fancy parenthesiz or make up words like swiggle or spell things wrong like parenthesiz.
and you most certainly cannot save your dull writing with an exciting photo

i just attempted taking a photo on photobooth, in the middle of the library, and felt very awkward about it so pulled this out of the archives instead:

{exciting isn't it?}

the fact of the matter is I'm really insecure with my academic writing.

I'm much more confident with blogging.
cause even though you may grade each post in your mind, or in the occasional bold comment, it wont affect my GPA which annoyingly has been drilled into my head as an important and forever affecting thing.

somehow the lack of finality of these silly meaningless posts calms me down and allows me to express exactly how I feel at a given moment

which at this moment is
(wow...such a big word for me!)

as silly as it may be, academic writing is one of my biggest fears.
What are your silly yet reasonable fears? and do you deal with them the same way as me, by pathetically running away?


  1. Being afraid of quicksand is not silly, and very reasonable. Whenever I am confronted with some, I just remember "flantsyr" (word verification...) anyways, FLANTSYR:
    Ladies (I am, in fact, a lady)
    So I guess I could say I also deal with my fear by running away... but I have a feeling my running is a bit more pathetic than yours, madear, considering the fact that I am fleeing while trying to remember that ridiculous acronym.
    I will see you soon.

  2. Dear Claire, I too have a fear. Mine is quite silly, and sometimes not very reasonable. I am deathly afraid of spiders, but I also do not like to kill them. Every night before I go to bed I check my walls for spiders. I just can't sleep in a room with a spider (that I can physically see). I usually have my little sister kill them for me. But, if she is asleep or feeling grumpy she won't do it for me. This has resulted in me spraying a spider with sunblock until it died, or water, or one time I just took my pillow and blanket and slept on the couch. Not very reasonable....but very silly. You are not alone.
    Love, Katrina

  3. Deep Water. The thought of not being able to see the bottom (I'm getting anxiety just thinking about it), thinking about diving into a lake or ocean. Scares the shiz out of me.

    I could take 50 papers to write over jumping into a lake.

  4. No great fears, but I do have reoccurring dreams that I have to retake college math and I don't ever go to class and it's the day of the final exam and I can't remember the combination to my college locker (?) so I can find my math book and cram for 3 minutes. Whew. I'm sweating now. Angie, what a coincidence...I'm going scuba diving next week! Think of me, dear!

    Kitty, work for 30 minutes, then reward yourself. Work 30 more, then reward. Til you are done!


  5. I do the exact same thing when I need to write a paper. And I feel the same way... You can't adequately write a paper with the same feeling and emphasis as you do with a blog... :)