a quick pic

Brandon and I will likely be spending halloween not dressed up.  I'm not a hum-bug about costumes (actually I quite fancy them).  But if I'm going to do it, I want to do it right, and I just didn't have the time this year to put something great together.  Also, Brandon has yet to agree on a couples costume with me...I'm working on slowly breaking him down, so you can expect something amazing next year. like ketchup and mustard.

I got another roll of film developed.  There are some great treasures to share, but I'm especially loving this photo. We don't look our best, but we look like us: brandon in bolo tie, not smiling (I promise he smiles when camera's aren't pointing his direction....sometimes).  And me, smiling with my mouth closed as to not encourage my baby face cheeks to protrude any more than they need to :) And bad posture.  You'd think after 12 years of classical ballet training, I would have learned to tuck that duck tail of mine in.  I sorta like the duck tail in this photo though, it makes me look a wee bit pregnant, and that thought makes me happy.

and how's that for a happy halloween post?

p.s. I just had a brilliant idea for a couples + baby costume: ketchup, mustard, and fry sauce!

p.p.s. I'm pretty sure I'm turning into that lady I hated during halloween.  The one who'd give out healthy snacks instead of sugar....yes, I'm considering handing out apples.

i like this photo of my sister.
i think it feels like real real.

in other thoughts:

This message by President Dieter F. Uchtdorf from last LDS General Conference has really stuck with me; this line in particular:

"Isn't it true that we often get so busy?  And, sad to say, we even wear our busyness as a badge of honor, as though being busy, by itself, was an accomplishment or sign of a superior life."

guilty.  

I'm finding 18 credits & 3+ jobs harder to juggle than I had anticipated.  I suppose I knew it was a pretty lofty plan to begin with, but I think I grinned at the challenge, happy to be an example to who-knows-who of hard productive work 24/7.  In fact, I added more goals to the plan.  A new style blog, scheduled to launch october 1st (didn't happen).  More branding and marketing of my shop (didn't happen).  Promoting fall family photo shoots (didn't happen.....unless this counts?).  But with each goal I added to the list, I stood a little taller, a little prouder.  And the weight of that silly badge got bigger. 

I've worn that badge for too long, and with too much unwarranted pride. I think I came to this conclusion on my own before, but with guilt attached.  Guilt because as much as it looked as though I were living this "superior" busy life, I knew, inside, that what it really meant was half-arsing (excuse my french) everything I did.  

A mediocre student.  

A mediocre employee.  

A mediocre blogger.  

and in turn: a mediocre human being.  

wrong.

I suppose I don't know how to say in words how wrong that thinking is.  It just is.  wrong.  I'm not totally okay with not being an excellent student/employee/blogger.  I want to be excellent.  I want to be the best.  but best can be measured differently if I choose for it to.  I have to remind myself that I do have that choice.  I don't want to regret my life in the moment of living it.  And because of that, you make choices, you slow down, and you listen to that voice inside of you that helps you see what's most important.  Like visiting Papa Ned and Gma Jo.  And hearing the stories of their first car.  Or engaging in an impromptu class discussion that gets you completely off track and onto something better.  Or going to the temple after much too long a wait and feeling like everything was going to be ok.  Or taking enough time to think of someone else's situation that it brings you to tears and to your knees because you actually feel pain for them.  

I know I've said this before so many times in so many ways: but I want to be right here in the now.  Why is that so hard?  It should be hard to be in the past or in the future, but that stuff is easy.  It's the right now that is the hardest thing to grasp and understand.  But maybe I'm complicating it.  Like this rambling that I have no idea how to conclude.

Things Fall Apart

I'm really bashful at art shows.  As soon as I showed up, I was ready to leave.  I don't know why that is, I'm usually not a bashful person.  Anyway, thanks to those of you who came!  My piece is small, and not very noticeable, which is fine with me.  It's part of a larger body of work that I hope I get the chance to exhibit sometime soon (I just need to be brave and apply for shows).  The show will be up until it's not.  What I mean is it's a durational show.  All the works are dealing with the concept of falling apart in some way or another.  Since mine consist of fall leaves, I wouldn't be surprised if it's already gone.

today

today is the first day in a very long time that neither brandon nor I have had anything we had to do. So far we've done what we always want to do: sleep in. We are about to go on a rain run (my favorite kind of running!) and later we are heading to salt lake to visit his favorite store, guitar center. He's like a kid in a candy shop there :) and Ikea, which is turning into one of my favorite stores (poor artist + cheap homemaker makes ikea a dream come true.) and we might even make our way to city creek to do some window shopping and meet up with some of our favorite people, tanner and brighton.

You've heard my thoughts on rain right? Today is no different. I feel invigorated. I feel motivated. And I think I'm ready to put more energy into this blog.

whatever that means ?

Last night Brandon and I got in a minor car accident.  We were rear ended pretty hard which resulted in us being sandwiched between a few cars, luckily no one got seriously injured, and luckily we weren't at fault, and luckily I'm not so obsessed with my car that it broke my heart that it's all banged up.  it mostly just took the majority of our evening to figure out with police and insurances.  It did make us think a lot though.  And all last night all we could do was hold each other.  We talked about the day, how normal it all was, how insignificant it all seemed.  But it wasn't.  We slept in.  We went out for bagels for breakfast.  He dropped me off at school.  He picked me up in between classes for a drive up the canyon.  We took photographs and listened to music.  We drove past the place where we once saw a bear just feet away.  We talked about art and our goals and our future together.  

In other news, I'm participating in a group show tonight, "Things Fall Apart"!  It's at the Covey Center for the Arts in Provo, and it consists of some of my favorite fellow artists work.  The party (show opening) is tonight from 6-11 and there will be live music and food too.  It'd be really great if you came :) 

find out more info on their facebook page & tumbler

passionate people

I love passionate people.  And I love good people.  And I love passionate people that are doing good in the world.

#whoisjennblosil?

Jenn Blosil is my grocery store friend.  I mean, we'd probably be really great friends if we lived next door to each other but we don't.  So we just run into each other at the grocery store ALL THE TIME.  (smiths....it's where it's at....at 12 at night....) Anyway, the point is Jenn is one of those passionate people who is doing good in the world.  And her good is her music.  (and it really is so good people).  And I can't tell you how much I respect her following her dreams the way that she is.  She's had opportunities to take the "easy" route to the big time.  But it wasn't right, and it wasn't sincere, and she wasn't willing to sacrifice the purpose of her work for the fame.  She has made her own way (with the help of kickstarter) and she's almost there!! But she needs our help and we've got to move fast so here's what I want you to do:

Check out her awesome kickstarter page listen to some tunes, admire her 'fro, and support!!  It's moments like these that those little $1 donations make a HUGE difference!  (lets do some simple math....if each one of us donated say...$2, that would be $726!! now don't we feel powerful :) okay lets take this further, each one of you forwards this message along (tweet, Facebook, blog, instagram....) well, I was never really good at math but I'm pretty sure that's a really big number that could do a whole lot of good towards her reaching her goal.

In addition, I'll be offering 15% off all betsy bow orders from my etsy shop, Belle & Whistle, to those who donate (minimum $1 donation) I of course can't track if you did, so please be honest!  It's a reward for those who support the dreamers :) And I will be donating 15% of the profits to Jenn's kickstarter.  So donate a dollar and save a few dollars on bows (again...not great with the math but you are getting a good deal ;)  Use "isupportjennblosil" code at checkout for the discount. 

link to shop >>>>

This offer ends Friday Night 10:00 pm MST.

Now go support the dreamers!

 

happy monday and happy october 1st!!
(maybe I like it a little too much when the first of the month falls on a monday...it helps with my mental calendar.)

 here's a list of things i'd like to get done this october (in no particular order)
-pass my dang adolescent development class
-take advantage of the pretty colors and do family photos shoots
-have a solo art show
-visit the spiral jetty
-get my geode jewelry on etsy
-start that style blog I keep thinking about
-build a coffee table
-make lots of art
-press my own grape juice
-make a dress
-dye my hair

what's on your october list?


 *film photo from NY trip last fall